MY HOME AT HEART

Хайрт чамдаа хэлмээр юм байна. Чин сэтгэлээсээ.

Хосууд гэж юу юм бэ? 

Заавал хосоороо амьдрах ёстой юм болов уу?

Хэдхэн сарын өмнө чамтай уулзахаас өмнө хамтдаа энэ амьдралыг туулах энгийн нэг сайхан хайр байдаг гэдэгт итгэн бас итгэн зөндөө итгэн өөртөө амласан юм. Гоё хайр байгаа олоход л болно гэж.

Заавал хосоороо амьдрах ёсгүй гэдгийг ойлгож байна. 

Хүн гэдэг моногамус биш ч байх биологийн хуулиараа бол.

Гэхдээ энэ ганц амьдралаа би яг яаж амьдарч өнгөрүүлмээр байгаа юм бэ гэж бодоод тэгээд олсон хариулт нь хамтдаа партнер тайгаа энэ амьдралыг дурсамж дүүрэн туулж баясаж, зовж байгаагаа хамгийн ойрхон хуваалцах хүн л юм байна гэж бодсон.

Чамдаа ч гэсэн хэлж байсан хоёулаа юм яриад сууж байхдаа.

Одоо хэдэн сарын дараа чамтай байж аз жаргалаар бялхаад, хамт байх үед хамаг юмаа мартаад чамтайгаа ингээд л хөгширвөл гэж бодогдоод. 

Гэхдээ хайр нь чамайг алдахаас айгаад байгаа. Энэ юунаас болоод байгаам бол гэж бодоод өмнөх траума эсвэл хайр дутаад байгаамуу эсвэл би гэрлэлтэнд итгэхгүй байгаа юм уу?

гэж мааш их бодож бодож бодож..

Тэгээд өөрийнхөө дотроо хариугаа оллоо. 

Үгүй ээ би хүнтэй хамт амьдрах хүсэлтэй байгаа. Хамтдаа дурсамж бүтээж тэрний хуваалцах хамгийн ойрын хүн гэж бодоод байгаа. Тэр тусмаа гэрлээд энэ тэр олон асуудал гарвал яах вэ? тэгээд чамайг өөр хүнд хайртай болчихвол яг яах юм бол? гэдэг бодол орж ирдэг ч гэсэн итгэхийг хүсч байна. Анхаан би итгэхийг хүсч байна. Маш их хайрлаад шархлах байсан ч гэсэн бүх юм сайхан болно итгэвэл маш сайхан хайрыг мэдэрч чадах учир зүгээр итгээд үзэе гэж.

Миний хайр ч гэсэн надтай төстэй юм бодож байгаа байж магадгүй тэ. Хайр нь чамайг надтай бичмээргүй үе, би таалагдахгүй үе байгааг мэдрээд тэр үед яах вэ гэж бодох юм. Хайртай юм чинь эргээд ирэх байлгүй гэж орхих үе байх ч хайр нь яагаад ингэж байгаам бол гэж мэдмээр бас санагдаад байх юм аа. Итгээд орхих зөв байх ч яг үндэс сууриар нь ойлгомоор санагдаад. Гэхдээ яаж асуухаа үнэндээ мэдэх юм алга даа. 

Өмнөх траума гэхээр хайртай хүн маань надан итгэхгэй үед яамар их гомддогыг, сул дорой болох үед хажууд үлдэдгүй гэдгийг мэдэрсэн харсан болохоор төстэй situation үүсэхээр хүлээн зөвшөөрмөөргүй байгаа ч гэсэн бас айх юм. Аймхай юмдаа чааваас.

За сүүлийн зүйл гэвэл хайрдаа санаа зовоод байна. Ийм сэтгэлийн хат муутай ч юм шиг хүнд хайртай байх зүгээр юм болов уу? гэж бодохоор салаад илүү гоё охинтой байвал чи минь жаргалтай ч байх юм шиг. 

За гэхдээ хайр нь итгэж байна, бас чамтай doubt-аа ярилцаад болчих байх, трауматайгаа тэмцэнэ бас чамайг алдахгүй ээ.

Хайртай ♡

I love you and will love you always! 

Short Recap of 2022

Hey blog! 

Again after a while, revisiting this one and just realized that so many things in my life has changed for a better (at least as of now hehe).

This specific post will not have any goal or message I want to convey. So it will be just the long, messy note of my feeling & mind. (Haha secretly I am sure that whoever read till now want to stop reading further! 😅)

It is already a last month of 2022. 

I have just read my 2022 resolution post and was reflecting on what happened this year.

First of all, just thinking about last year made me tear up and letting me know how thankful I am for this year. It is not because past few years earlier than 2022 was though or sad, it is because 2022 really gave me such a beautiful gifts, opportunities and great memories.

Jan '22 

Year got started with such a nice people then went on a trip with them. 

Got 'Best of luck' omikuji at the shrine hehe - this gave lot of encouragement though!

And got the book translation rights (almost a one year after met with the team on Feb 2021)

Started a tennis yuruyuru club. 

Got promotion. oh lala

Feb '22

Went a lot of karting & tennis. Thanks to these hobbies, able to talk and deepened my relationship with friends. 

Got driver's license - this gave lot of confidence and freedom although it is a very small thing

Mar '22

Turned 30 man! Did bit of translation..karting & tennis as usual. 

Apr '22

Tried to go out of my comfort zone and did new things like new kind of bar.

May '22

Just chilling & working. Did bit of translation..karting & tennis as usual. 

Jun '22

Translation almost got completed. Ready to give for review

Jul '22

Went back to Mongolia to do few things over there. Publish this book and go on a trip with fam to make a great memories. 

But damn I met the one!!! 

I want to make dedicated post for this person but all I feel now is so grateful, happy & peaceful. 

Aug '22

Completed my first full marathon.

Finally long awaited few days break. Went on a trip with friends. This trip made me realize really how important Juuj is important to me. Lots of care, advice I got from her over the years. Appreciated her friendship so much and would like to do lot of things for her somehow. 

Riding a horse for many hours and sleeping in a tiny tent itself was very wild and adventurous. It was such a beautiful memories in many ways. Then after that I went on a trip for short trip to Tsevegmaa camp little outside of city. This was the vacation I was imagining for a whole time. 

Also had fight with parent.. still bit sad just to think. I need to become more stronger and more.

Sep '22

Book launch. Years of thoughts and wishes finally came to reality. Of course so many people has helped along the way.

Oct '22

Came back to Japan. 

Went to see a first ever F1 race. 

The one came to Japan and spent just a amazing times (of course few arguments here and there)

Nov '22

Trying out bouldering and gym.  

Dec '22 

Will attend first tennis match. 

Training with sista is amazing. So happy that making memories through this sport. 

And here it is my past NYR and progress so far. 

NYR 2022

• 5 challenge/learn new things
• Improve English -> 300 new words/phrases 
• 1 new music instrument 
• World history/Mongolian history -> level that I can debate with someone  
• bouldering   
• muay thai  
• gym
• german
• 1 official tennis tournament/match 
• Driving license
• GCP/AWS certificate
• Book translation
• Family trip ♡

Note:

completed

almost completed

not completed

Whew! What a great year it is and thanks for making my parent healthy and happy! Here we go 2023! 

Source of image is here

Just thoughts of today

I am in midst of fear and uncertainty..

Not sure what to do 

but need to go on 

need to start 

fear of leap 

leapfrog

2021 review & 2022 resolutions

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Hello you, welcome to my open online diary again. 

(Sometimes I am stoked that some people come and see this blog of mine)

It it already an 2022 . I still can't believe time is flying like this fast. 

Last couple of years maybe 2 and 3 years, we as human being experienced totally new thing together literally together. Unknown virus, epidemic then quickly pandemic. We have lost lot of cared ones and understood someway that our life is short and importance of our life. For me, these past 2-3 years has been new chapter for me thankful to my family and friends loved ones.

I have started my career and learning along the way. 

I can't say was awing myself in every way, but I learned a quite a few things about life.. maybe..

Things that I learnt

Career

1. Don't be an evil.. god please be flexible and less stubborn haha 
2. It doesn't have to be right that the things you said
3. But be honest and hardworking 
4. Always learn and provide something no one can offer - be linchpin
5. Don't shy to talk about promotion 

General

1. Don' be so sensitive (people will talk about you and your situation, you don't any control over it) 
2. Control an emotion --- decision making, balance 
3. There is a purpose in life 
4. Enjoy the process including struggle not just result 
5. Accept a body as is 
6. Be kind to yourself - treat and speak to you like you would do to your loved ones - kind tone/words
7. Give a trust to people who surround you 
8. Meet new people and be positive 
9. Be curious about people because you want to understand those people
10. Give a respect and love people who deserve

(Don't think, is that it? that's all your learnt? haha my answer is yes at this moment ♡)

Okayyy.. now noting things that I learnt, I want to think about the future... and share here with you...

It is so cliche to say no just even think about that I will be new person in this new year. But I am totally committing and put my mind into to challenge myself in this 2022 new year.

What am I meaning "challenge". Challenge is I would like to try scary things (new thing, large-scale thing, risky thing..) , and I want to overcome by making/creating/planning/asking/collaborating/learning/being positive/being realistic.. 

First of all yes, new year resolution. 

Basically things that I couldn't do last year. hehe last year was pretty dope. 

My friend suggested to have NYR together and I ended up wrote down 8 resolutions and complete 3 of them and made progress on remaining 5. Not bad. 

NYR 2022

• 5 challenge/learn new things
• Improve English -> 300 new words/phrases 
• 1 new music instrument 
• World history/Mongolian history -> level that I can debate with someone
• 1 official tennis tournament/match
• Driving license
• GCP/AWS certificate
• Book translation
• Family trip ♡

I'll hope for the best only and only good things/people/opportunity will come.

Here I come 2022!✌